a collection of random thoughts and ideas from me, her, and sometimes us
you have been in your first job out of college for six years. you have succeeded in that job – been promoted several times and given amazing opportunities to show the knowledge and skills you have gained. you have mastered the subject area for which you are responsible. and at the end of the day, you wish there was something more to learn. for those of you who read this, this is bee seeking advice . . . when is it time to take a leap of faith and try something new?
when you like your job, but you also wonder if there is something else out there to do. when you need a new challenge but do not know if you should seek it somewhere else or ask for a new opportunity where you are. when is it that you know you need to go down a new path and how do you decide what that new path might be?
if you ask me
how i’m doing
i would say, “i’m doing just fine.”
i would lie and say that you’re not on my mind.
(gavin degraw)
some of the most complicated relationships in life originate from ones family. i am certainly no exception. and even with the most challenging relationships, i would be hard-pressed to ever say that those people are not on my mind. the mistakes we have all made. the really good memories. and the things that will never be forgiven. over the past week, however, i have come to find the depths of complicated relationships and the true challenge in seeing the world in black and white.
as noted previously, i am honest and loyal to a fault. i care much more than i should and think everything should be fair. setting aside half of the fairness argument today, in my opinion, withholding information and/or asking people you “care about” to purposefully lie to people they care about on your behalf is wrong. especially the person who you know wants to respect your wishes and be loyal to you and also needs to be completely honest to others. it is truly not fair. it hurts. it leads to tears and devastation and a complete crisis of conscience. which is more important . . . loyalty to the person who asked you to withhold information or being honest with the person you have been asked to lie to?
i made a purposeful choice a handful of years ago that i was not going to take sides in an argument that was tearing people apart. now i feel like i am back in the middle and needing to make a choice. i do not like it. i am really sad. and i really love my husband for the ice cream and shoulder and reassurance that at the end of the day there is no way i am going to be alone. maybe if the world did not need to be so clear – black and white – and did not have to be fair all the time to me, this would be easier.
sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead. (adele)
I am honest to a fault and see the world in black and white. The gray area frustrates me. Right and wrong are so clearly evident. And yet, recently I have seen so many examples of people who seemingly have no moral compass at all. Those who, literally, drive on the wrong side of the road with no care for on-coming traffic. Those who ride the train in the morning without a ticket and see no difference between their action and stealing. Those who are lazy and unproductive simply because they have been able to get away with it.
As noted previously, I often sit and wonder where life will take me. I do so from the lens of working really hard to get to where I want to be. And I seemingly do so with others thinking I am “on a high horse” trying to make you feel small. Well, that is not my intention. I intend to live by a set of rules that clearly dictate, at least to me, what is in fact right and wrong, black and white, fair and unfair, and, most importantly, true and honest.
Maybe everyone can think as simply as me today. No middle ground, just two sides.
last sunday was finally the big day. bee’s first half marathon. she ran the flying pirate half marathon in the outer banks. she trained for months to prepare herself and knew she could finish so we were there to see that happen. interestingly the race was on sunday. the weekend was filled with races and this was the “premiere” event for the weekend. there was also a 5k and the storm the beach event. as we got to the weekend, we heard the weather wasn’t going to be great, but that wasn’t the end of it, it was a mess. on saturday, the weather was great as we enjoyed a few hours on the beach and then come sunday, it rained. and poured. and rained some more. it almost prevented her from running all together but as we got to the start line and it wasn’t pouring, she decided to go with it. everyone else seemed to be running and not worried about it.
for those familiar with the outer banks, the race starts over by kitty hawk elementary and goes along the road on the sound side. from there, they went around the wright brothers memorial and then onto some of the back roads and finally through the nags head woods conservancy. the race ended at the YMCA in nags head.
after dropping off bee, i ran to walmart and got sign making materials to make a sign. she didn’t know about the sign ahead of time and only sort of remembers seeing me with it as i waited out by the memorial, but it was worth it. i went to two of the sight see-er stops and then finally to the finish line. she remembers seeing the sign although she doesn’t remember seeing me at the first location but at the second stop, i didn’t get the sign out because it was pouring. from there i moved to the finish line and waited for her arrival and cheered for her as she ran by right before the finish line.
we both ended up being soaked when all was said and done and clearly her more than me, but it was an interesting experience. she ran her heart out and did what she set out to do, finish her first half marathon. oh and she finished at almost the exact time she thought she would too. i can say one thing, next time we hope it doesn’t rain. she has a great memory to hold on to and apparently a stress fracture in her left. we think it got hurt in the woods/off road section of the course where everything was uneven and a mess.
maybe next time, she will run it in a pirate costume or a tu tu like some of the other runners. haha.
the event/weekend was sponsored by the outer banks sporting events group and they do all the running events on the island. there is talk about running the half again next year or maybe the 8k in the fall. we’ll see!
needless to say, i was and am very proud of her and her accomplishment!
As I am sure it is apparent, ZP and I are young. We graduated from a college we loved with drive and passion and a vision of the jobs we wanted. And we got them. We have worked hard. Fast forward six years and I have found myself wondering . . . is this what I want to be doing and what is the next step?
This one is really hard for me for a handful of reasons.
Side note: I thought I had that last one down until recently. For all the challenges in life, recently I have found that it has been far easier to work harder at what I am doing then to figure out my next move.
I wish I was more spontaneous. I wish I was less scared. I wish I knew what I really wanted to do in life (other than sit on a beach all day).
I am far from ready to take a leap of faith and I have no real idea if now is the time to take advantage of a fork in the road. I love the work that I do and the people that it affects. I just wonder . . .
complaining is not something zack and i do often. thank you, however is something we offer frequently. over the past few months, i have had some exceptional customer service encounters that i would like to share.
sperry - we are BIG sperry fans. love the brand, love the shoe, love the quality. i recently purchased a pair of sperry’s at a discount shoe store (who notably did not make the list) and, upon my second wear, found that one of the laces on the sperry was damaged. with my life motto of “the worst they can say is no” in my mind, i e-mailed sperry noting the issue. in a matter of hours i had a detailed response from sperry offering apology for my disappointment and clear instruction on how to send my shoes to the company for repair or replacement. never once was i asked where the shoes were purchased, their condition, or how i caused the damage. i sent my shoes off and within a matter of days had a new pair delivered to my doorstep. no questions asked.
visit http://www.sperrytopsider.com. you will not be disappointed.
ll bean – i honestly do not break things often, but the past few months have been challenging for my outwear (shoes above and jackets). i take the marc train and therefore spend a decent amount of cold mornings and evenings standing waiting for the train to arrive. last winter, i took the plunge and purchased an amazingly warm and long winter jacket from ll bean. i have always liked their winter gear, but was pleasantly surprised this winter not by their quality, but by their customer service. while flying home from vermont this winter, my jacket was placed on the security belt in the airport (not in a bucket) by a security guard. he promised me it would survive the short trip through the x-ray machine. he was wrong. my jacket somehow got caught and had to be forcefully pulled from the machine. at this point, i was running late for my flight and did not pay attention to the zipper on the jacket. i got home and went to zip my jacket, only to find zipper teeth missing and a small tear in my jacket. the next day, i went to our local ll bean and asked what the fee to repair my jacket would be. their response. nothing. the jacket i had purchased was not available in-store, so they issued me a credit for the full-price of the jacket in order to provide me to opportunity to replace my jacket at full-price, if necessary. they never once asked what happened.
visit http://www.llbean.com. they mean “guaranteed to last” and stand by their word that they will make you happy.
meadows – i love local businesses and i LOVE ice cream. zp and i discovered the meadows frozen custard not that long ago and have fallen head over heels. fresh flavors of the day (and a calendar that gives you a heads up of the flavors to come), an amazingly friendly staff, and the best owner ever are only the start of our list of loving them. but for this post, customer service is the focus. we were having dinner in hickory ridge one night and stopped by the meadows after dinner. having already closed, steve (the owner) could easily have said, “see you tomorrow night.” instead, he invited us in, noted they had closed, and told us we could pick anything that was out. we opted for an ice cream sandwich that had just been packaged (with homemade cookies and fresh custard, of course). steve recognizes you (probably indicating that we get ice cream too often), wants to know about your life, and ALWAYS thanks us for stopping in and inviting us back. he and his staff make you feel welcome and at home.
i think saying thank you and showing appreciation for a job well done are amazing gifts. i also think they make someone want to keep going their job well. so, i encourage you all . . . take a moment and appreciate someone going out of their way to assist you, or just doing their job well and not making your life more challenging.
thank you.
bee’s take:
truly how i felt today . . . finally circus day.
zp, being the phenomenal person he is and knowing that it takes very little to make me truly happy, has been introducing me to all the things i did not do as a kid. upon learning that i had never been to the circus, he bought the tickets and prepared me for the best day ever. fifth row end seats so i did not have to touch anyone and was close enough to be amazed and far enough to not be overwhelmed. the circus was amazing and far exceeded every thought i had of it. it was the greatest show on earth and just as magical as i had hoped.
what did we see today, you wonder:
zp’s take:
when asked her favorite part, bee listed everything. at the end of the day, she keeps going back to the elephants and how well they stay together, holding trunks and tails.
lots of kids at the circus today and they didn’t even bother bee. well, other then the one that kicked her in the back, LOL. as a child, she never went to the circus so we have been fulfilling all those childhood activities one at a time and the greatest show on earth was in town so we went and saw the clowns. this circus show was themed “fully charged.” 
lots of lights and excitement as well as the standards. sadly, the clowns didn’t pile out of a car like you would see on any circus show/movie. of course, the guy flying across the arena on fire made up for it. funny how the simple things in life make her smile for days at a time. or a $12 snowcone in an elephant shaped mug, haha.
You know your life is not normal (at least not like you think it is) when you arrive at BWI at 5:00am to go through security, run into the same security screener you saw last week on the same day at the same time (literally), and he takes pity on you from your previous conversation (about people who do not fly often) and moves you to the VIP line. Or maybe you are simply not normal for actually talking to the security screener and being remembered in the first place?!?
And on that note…if you do not fly often, please have pity on those of us that do. Come to the airport prepared. Do not have twelve thousand bags to carry on. Empty your pockets – everything from your pockets. Remember that you cannot take full size bottles of liquids on the plane with you. And most of all, pay attention to the noted signs and placards : )
lately, it’s been go go go and today we took the day to enjoy our anniversary. bee and i now have been married for two years. like any couple we’ve had a our ups and downs and are always working on keeping our strong relationship going. since we both decided to take off work today, we wondered down to annapolis and walked around the shops. i ended up buying a pair of new sperry’s but that was about it. other than food of course as we got food in several places as we walked around, LOL. i didn’t really need more shoes but am my mother’s son and couldn’t pass them up. it was nice to go on a day that wasn’t the weekend. the slower pace let you walk through stores at your own speed and talk to many of the shop owners. in the spring and summer, i am sure it’s busier on a a random tuesday, but not today. we were even the only people on the dock so we snapped this photo via her ipod touch.
we are typically big present people and i always win at getting the best presents but this year we struggled with anniversary gifts. if you follow the traditions, the 2nd year anniversary present is either cotton or china depending on whether you follow the traditional or modern gift list. we aren’t really big china people and didn’t even get any fine china for our wedding. her co-workers suggested that she get me something “made in china.” as far as cotton, that didn’t really fit either so we basically ended up present-less although i did pick up a couple things from the vera bradley outlet for her since her pattern is being discontinued.
after we wondered the docks, we headed to crate and barrel and pottery barn. it’s a requirement for her every time we are out that way since there isn’t one in columbia. we bought a interesting serving bowl, so maybe that qualifies as china. haha. for dinner, we headed to george martin’s grillfire over in arundel preserve (it’s in “The Hotel”). we went for my birthday and really enjoyed it so we went back. it’s more upscale but not really fancy or traditional fine dining. she got the cobb salad and i had a nice marinated skirt steak. we started with their mac and cheese. they have a fantastic cheese bread that they bring out to every table so if you go, keep an eye out for it. the food was pretty good again and i am sure we will be back. my buddy gave us a coupon but it didn’t fit the requirements of the fine print so i guess we have to go back! we finished the meal with some cotton candy so i guess all in all, we filled both the cotton and china anniversary presents but just got them for ourselves instead of for one another.
so here is to many more years of happiness and happy anniversary to us!
