a guy and a bee

a collection of random thoughts and ideas from me, her, and sometimes us

Monthly Archives: March 2019

it’s been over a year.

It’s strange to think that it has been over a year since we posted an update.  I think about it often . . . what I would say “now.”  The what to say is what has kept me from posting all this time; it never seemed to be enough to warrant an update.  When we started this, we wanted people to have a single place to get information since so many were invested.  Part of me thinks that we all thought this would be a part of our past at some point and not the mainstay in our lives.  The “over a year”-ness since posting is funny.  It seems like it was yesterday that we found out the MRI did not show degeneration – and a lifetime ago.  And so many things have happened since then, all of which seem inconsequential right now.  By way of updates: everyone is happy and as healthy as each could be.  Things are pretty good and that is truly exciting.

With the status quo also comes the normal that is our lives – the challenge of understanding needs of a non-verbal child who is seemingly frustrated that he cannot always non-verbally communicate what he wants or needs, the tug of each kiddo wanting attention and having need that they feel like is not being taken seriously, the struggle of always needing to be holding BBA – in a device or arms – and the impact that has on how we can engage with BBB and @littlepund, and so many other strange happenings that are part of our daily lives.

Social media, of which I consider a blog, is such a strange place.  People tend to post only the best of themselves, feel as though it is appropriate to judge others in comments, and make assumptions on peoples lives by way of a single statement/picture they post.  I was reminded recently by a phenomenal human that sometimes you need to show people that you don’t have it all together – showing the mess is just as illuminating as showing the perfect.

And what really is the perfect?  I had an idea of it a decade ago.  When we got married we had an idea of what we thought our life would be.  When we set out to have kids, we had a hope.  We have maintained a belief – that we are not be asked to do more than we are capable of.  We wanted to be together, to create our family, to have the privilege to make choices, to have healthy babies.  We never once asked for or expected ease, simplicity.  Our lives are hard (or difficult as my human thesaurus offers) and sometimes debilitating-feeling, but they are also magical and laughter-filled and untradeable.  It’s been over a year but what a year it has been.

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