a collection of random thoughts and ideas from me, her, and sometimes us
wondering . . .
As I am sure it is apparent, ZP and I are young. We graduated from a college we loved with drive and passion and a vision of the jobs we wanted. And we got them. We have worked hard. Fast forward six years and I have found myself wondering . . . is this what I want to be doing and what is the next step?
This one is really hard for me for a handful of reasons.
- I am loyal. I committed to being in my job and I work hard to meet and exceed the expectations set of me. When I consider moving on, my biggest worry is letting people down and not following through on the commitment I have made.
- I am a planner. I like structure and consistency. I like knowing what to expect, good or bad, and being prepared for that.
- I am scared. What if the next step I take is the wrong one?
- I am rooted in tradition. Eons ago, people took a job and made it a career. They stayed where they were for decades. They made the best of their situation. They kept their head down. They excelled. And they saw a difference between working to live and living to work.
Side note: I thought I had that last one down until recently. For all the challenges in life, recently I have found that it has been far easier to work harder at what I am doing then to figure out my next move.
I wish I was more spontaneous. I wish I was less scared. I wish I knew what I really wanted to do in life (other than sit on a beach all day).
I am far from ready to take a leap of faith and I have no real idea if now is the time to take advantage of a fork in the road. I love the work that I do and the people that it affects. I just wonder . . .