a guy and a bee

As I am sure it is apparent, ZP and I are young.  We graduated from a college we loved with drive and passion and a vision of the jobs we wanted.  And we got them.  We have worked hard.  Fast forward six years and I have found myself wondering . . . is this what I want to be doing and what is the next step?

This one is really hard for me for a handful of reasons.

• I am loyal.  I committed to being in my job and I work hard to meet and exceed the expectations set of me.  When I consider moving on, my biggest worry is letting people down and not following through on the commitment I have made.
• I am a planner.  I like structure and consistency.  I like knowing what to expect, good or bad, and being prepared for that.
• I am scared.  What if the next step I take is the wrong one?
• I am rooted in tradition.  Eons ago, people took a job and made it a career.  They stayed where they were for decades.  They made the best of their situation.  They kept their head down.  They excelled.  And they saw a difference between working to live and living to work.

Side note: I thought I had that last one down until recently.  For all the challenges in life, recently I have found that it has been far easier to work harder at what I am doing then to figure out my next move.

I wish I was more spontaneous.  I wish I was less scared.  I wish I knew what I really wanted to do in life (other than sit on a beach all day).

I am far from ready to take a leap of faith and I have no real idea if now is the time to take advantage of a fork in the road.  I love the work that I do and the people that it affects.  I just wonder . . .