a collection of random thoughts and ideas from me, her, and sometimes us
Tag Archives: bee’s buzz
you have been in your first job out of college for six years. you have succeeded in that job – been promoted several times and given amazing opportunities to show the knowledge and skills you have gained. you have mastered the subject area for which you are responsible. and at the end of the day, you wish there was something more to learn. for those of you who read this, this is bee seeking advice . . . when is it time to take a leap of faith and try something new?
when you like your job, but you also wonder if there is something else out there to do. when you need a new challenge but do not know if you should seek it somewhere else or ask for a new opportunity where you are. when is it that you know you need to go down a new path and how do you decide what that new path might be?
As I am sure it is apparent, ZP and I are young. We graduated from a college we loved with drive and passion and a vision of the jobs we wanted. And we got them. We have worked hard. Fast forward six years and I have found myself wondering . . . is this what I want to be doing and what is the next step?
This one is really hard for me for a handful of reasons.
- I am loyal. I committed to being in my job and I work hard to meet and exceed the expectations set of me. When I consider moving on, my biggest worry is letting people down and not following through on the commitment I have made.
- I am a planner. I like structure and consistency. I like knowing what to expect, good or bad, and being prepared for that.
- I am scared. What if the next step I take is the wrong one?
- I am rooted in tradition. Eons ago, people took a job and made it a career. They stayed where they were for decades. They made the best of their situation. They kept their head down. They excelled. And they saw a difference between working to live and living to work.
Side note: I thought I had that last one down until recently. For all the challenges in life, recently I have found that it has been far easier to work harder at what I am doing then to figure out my next move.
I wish I was more spontaneous. I wish I was less scared. I wish I knew what I really wanted to do in life (other than sit on a beach all day).
I am far from ready to take a leap of faith and I have no real idea if now is the time to take advantage of a fork in the road. I love the work that I do and the people that it affects. I just wonder . . .
zp, being the phenomenal person he is and knowing that it takes very little to make me truly happy, has been introducing me to all the things i did not do as a kid. upon learning that i had never been to the circus, he bought the tickets and prepared me for the best day ever. fifth row end seats so i did not have to touch anyone and was close enough to be amazed and far enough to not be overwhelmed. the circus was amazing and far exceeded every thought i had of it. it was the greatest show on earth and just as magical as i had hoped.
what did we see today, you wonder:
- clowns – colorful and full of energy. and really good at playing off mistakes vs. making mistakes on purpose. incredibly entertaining. and colorful (oh wait, i said that once)
- elephants – adorable. well behaved. and they did such a good job at holding trunks to tails.
- tigers – not my favorite, by far, but they were synchronized.
- stilt walkers – they glow in the dark. really, does it get any better than that?!?
- acrobats and tight-rope walkers – their coordination, speed, and focus on what they are doing with every light-up toy and sound going on in the background is amazing. and they are really good at what they do.
- cross-bow man – they set him on fire and shot him across the arena in the dark. and there were fireworks. and then they made him not on fire with fire extinguishers (not as fancy or cool as you think it would be). and then they gave him a new cape and he ran into the center like it was no big thing to have just been on fire. kind of wackadoodle, thought provoking, and REALLY stunning all at the same time.
- jugglers – they were juggle-tastic.
- aerialists – one of those things that always make me sit with my mouth hanging open. they as so strong and delicate all at the same time.
- the strong men – whether or not the log they carry is “that heavy,” you cannot fake them lifting eachother or four other people and twirling them around in a circle for what seems like a really long time.
- horses (and mini horses) – they pooped in the three-ring circus. and, the circus workers were really adept at cleaning it up very quickly. also, just for the record, they are mini horses, not baby horses.
lots of kids at the circus today and they didn’t even bother bee. well, other then the one that kicked her in the back, LOL. as a child, she never went to the circus so we have been fulfilling all those childhood activities one at a time and the greatest show on earth was in town so we went and saw the clowns. this circus show was themed “fully charged.” lots of lights and excitement as well as the standards. sadly, the clowns didn’t pile out of a car like you would see on any circus show/movie. of course, the guy flying across the arena on fire made up for it. funny how the simple things in life make her smile for days at a time. or a $12 snowcone in an elephant shaped mug, haha.
A wise man recently pointed me in the direction of Psalm 90 (“…teach us to apply our hearts to wisdom”) to help me process a feeling that I do not deserve something that I have recently “received.” He followed that direction with, “applying our brains to wisdom is the easier part, I think.”
And just as I sit and wonder why good things do not happen more often for good people (and why I have such a hard time accepting good things), I receive this message from a friend: “sometimes I think people surprise you for the better… and I think people undervalue the importance of how someone makes you feel.”
We have become so accustomed to settling, in some circumstances, thinking that maybe we do not deserve better or that we should not be seeking something more because it is selfish. Instead, we are left to wonder why “good things” are not happening to us. We should, however, know that we deserve more. We deserve to fight for happy. We deserve to be treated impeccably. And, whatever good the good person is getting, chances are someone else is getting something out of it too.
So, one more from the wise man . . . someone showed me a Hindu prayer once where one’s hands are placed (in prayer position) on 1. one’s head, then 2. mouth, then 3. heart. The prayer, she said, is “Help me be present in 1. body 2. voice and 3. mind.” Then she said, “Look where the mind is!”
lately, it’s been go go go and today we took the day to enjoy our anniversary. bee and i now have been married for two years. like any couple we’ve had a our ups and downs and are always working on keeping our strong relationship going. since we both decided to take off work today, we wondered down to annapolis and walked around the shops. i ended up buying a pair of new sperry’s but that was about it. other than food of course as we got food in several places as we walked around, LOL. i didn’t really need more shoes but am my mother’s son and couldn’t pass them up. it was nice to go on a day that wasn’t the weekend. the slower pace let you walk through stores at your own speed and talk to many of the shop owners. in the spring and summer, i am sure it’s busier on a a random tuesday, but not today. we were even the only people on the dock so we snapped this photo via her ipod touch.
we are typically big present people and i always win at getting the best presents but this year we struggled with anniversary gifts. if you follow the traditions, the 2nd year anniversary present is either cotton or china depending on whether you follow the traditional or modern gift list. we aren’t really big china people and didn’t even get any fine china for our wedding. her co-workers suggested that she get me something “made in china.” as far as cotton, that didn’t really fit either so we basically ended up present-less although i did pick up a couple things from the vera bradley outlet for her since her pattern is being discontinued.
after we wondered the docks, we headed to crate and barrel and pottery barn. it’s a requirement for her every time we are out that way since there isn’t one in columbia. we bought a interesting serving bowl, so maybe that qualifies as china. haha. for dinner, we headed to george martin’s grillfire over in arundel preserve (it’s in “The Hotel”). we went for my birthday and really enjoyed it so we went back. it’s more upscale but not really fancy or traditional fine dining. she got the cobb salad and i had a nice marinated skirt steak. we started with their mac and cheese. they have a fantastic cheese bread that they bring out to every table so if you go, keep an eye out for it. the food was pretty good again and i am sure we will be back. my buddy gave us a coupon but it didn’t fit the requirements of the fine print so i guess we have to go back! we finished the meal with some cotton candy so i guess all in all, we filled both the cotton and china anniversary presents but just got them for ourselves instead of for one another.
so here is to many more years of happiness and happy anniversary to us!
As a volunteer for a structured organization, I serve on a lot of committees. On a conference call last night, I commented that someone could bring a “diverse perspective” to the group (as a new member). Immediately following, I was questioned why someone’s personal demographics were a part of my comments on that person. My retort: I did not mention demographics, simply that this individual could bring a unique set of skills and ideas to this group. This has made me do a lot of thinking though, and a little work on defining my word choice. Therefore, courtesy of http://www.dictionary.com:
di·verse [dih-vurs, dahy-, dahy-vurs]
- of a different kind, form, character, etc.; unlike: a wide range of diverse opinions.
- of various kinds or forms; multiform.
- a technique of depicting volumes and spatial relationships on a flat surface. Compare aerial perspective, linear perspective.
- a picture employing this technique, especially one in which it is prominent: an architect’s perspective of a house.
- a visible scene, especially one extending to a distance; vista: a perspective on the main axis of an estate.
- the state of existing in space before the eye: The elevations look all right, but the building’s composition is a failure in perspective.
- the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship: You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.
Diverse is a dynamic word clearly noting “differing” and “different.” A word that we use to note the individual and what he/she offers. These days, it seems, the word is confused with “diversity.” Same root; same general meaning (the state of being different); but, so often used these days to reference demographics that it has seemingly become synonymous. In any group, it does not matter if you are pink or blue, tall or short, it matters what you bring to the table. Each person’s background adds to the sum of that person, and therefore the differing view they offer. This is not relative to demographics (or race) but to the breadth and depth of their experiences as a person and how they articulate those experiences when working in a group.
Perspective, to me, clearly falls in the category of “the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc.” I think every person who serves as a volunteer in this particular group brings a shared experience (as the group is about individuals who have something specific in common), but also their own, individual take on that experience. Every person, even participating in the same activity, will relay the facts and the impact of that activity on themselves differently.
Looking back on my written comments of the individual that we were discussing, I never noted the individual’s demographics, simply the conversation I had with that person and their overall demeanor. It never would have occurred to me to discuss a person based on demographics. To the other person, my comments seemed clearly pointed at that aspect. Makes one take pause and think about the diverse perspectives we all bring to the table, our individual foci, and what hits home for us individually. I felt a personal affront at the insinuation of my comment and I would venture to guess that the other person felt similarly about my original comment. How do we get to a place of not assuming and judging, but thinking the best of others?