a guy and a bee

a collection of random thoughts and ideas from me, her, and sometimes us

Category Archives: bee’s buzz

Good Things for Good People

A wise man recently pointed me in the direction of Psalm 90 (“…teach us to apply our hearts to wisdom”) to help me process a feeling that I do not deserve something that I have recently “received.”  He followed that direction with, “applying our brains to wisdom is the easier part, I think.”

And just as I sit and wonder why good things do not happen more often for good people (and why I have such a hard time accepting good things), I receive this message from a friend: “sometimes I think people surprise you for the better… and I think people undervalue the importance of how someone makes you feel.”

We have become so accustomed to settling, in some circumstances, thinking that maybe we do not deserve better or that we should not be seeking something more because it is selfish.  Instead, we are left to wonder why “good things” are not happening to us.  We should, however, know that we deserve more.  We deserve to fight for happy.  We deserve to be treated impeccably.  And, whatever good the good person is getting, chances are someone else is getting something out of it too.

So, one more from the wise man . . . someone showed me a Hindu prayer once where one’s hands are placed (in prayer position) on 1. one’s head, then 2. mouth, then 3. heart.  The prayer, she said, is “Help me be present in 1. body 2. voice and 3. mind.” Then she said, “Look where the mind is!”

BWI VIP

You know your life is not normal (at least not like you think it is) when you arrive at BWI at 5:00am to go through security, run into the same security screener you saw last week on the same day at the same time (literally), and he takes pity on you from your previous conversation (about people who do not fly often) and moves you to the VIP line. Or maybe you are simply not normal for actually talking to the security screener and being remembered in the first place?!?

And on that note…if you do not fly often, please have pity on those of us that do. Come to the airport prepared. Do not have twelve thousand bags to carry on. Empty your pockets – everything from your pockets. Remember that you cannot take full size bottles of liquids on the plane with you. And most of all, pay attention to the noted signs and placards : )

happy anniversary to us!

lately, it’s been go go go and today we took the day to enjoy our anniversary. bee and i now have been married for two years. like any couple we’ve had a our ups and downs and are always working on keeping our strong relationship going. since we both decided to take off work today, we wondered down to annapolis and walked around the shops. i ended up buying a pair of new sperry’s but that was about it. other than food of course as we got food in several places as we walked around, LOL. i didn’t really need more shoes but am my mother’s son and couldn’t pass them up. it was nice to go on a day that wasn’t the weekend. the slower pace let you walk through stores at your own speed and talk to many of the shop owners. in the spring and summer, i am sure it’s busier on a a random tuesday, but not today. we were even the only people on the dock so we snapped this photo via her ipod touch.

we are typically big present people and i always win at getting the best presents but this year we struggled with anniversary gifts. if you follow the traditions, the 2nd year anniversary present is either cotton or china depending on whether you follow the traditional or modern gift list. we aren’t really big china people and didn’t even get any fine china for our wedding. her co-workers suggested that she get me something “made in china.” as far as cotton, that didn’t really fit either so we basically ended up present-less although i did pick up a couple things from the vera bradley outlet for her since her pattern is being discontinued.

after we wondered the docks, we headed to crate and barrel and pottery barn. it’s a requirement for her every time we are out that way since there isn’t one in columbia. we bought a interesting serving bowl, so maybe that qualifies as china. haha. for dinner, we headed to george martin’s grillfire over in arundel preserve (it’s in “The Hotel”). we went for my birthday and really enjoyed it so we went back. it’s more upscale but not really fancy or traditional fine dining. she got the cobb salad and i had a nice marinated skirt steak. we started with their mac and cheese. they have a fantastic cheese bread that they bring out to every table so if you go, keep an eye out for it. the food was pretty good again and i am sure we will be back. my buddy gave us a coupon but it didn’t fit the requirements of the fine print so i guess we have to go back! we finished the meal with some cotton candy so i guess all in all, we filled both the cotton and china anniversary presents but just got them for ourselves instead of for one another.

so here is to many more years of happiness and happy anniversary to us!

what is a “diverse perspective?”

As a volunteer for a structured organization, I serve on a lot of committees.  On a conference call last night, I commented that someone could bring a “diverse perspective” to the group (as a new member).  Immediately following, I was questioned why someone’s personal demographics were a part of my comments on that person.  My retort: I did not mention demographics, simply that this individual could bring a unique set of skills and ideas to this group.  This has made me do a lot of thinking though, and a little work on defining my word choice.  Therefore, courtesy of http://www.dictionary.com:

di·verse [dih-vurs, dahy-, dahy-vurs]
adjective

  • of a different kind, form, character, etc.; unlike: a wide range of diverse opinions.
  • of various kinds or forms; multiform.

per·spec·tive [per-spek-tiv]
noun

  • a technique of depicting volumes and spatial relationships on a flat surface. Compare aerial perspective, linear perspective.
  • a picture employing this technique, especially one in which it is prominent: an architect’s perspective of a house.
  • a visible scene, especially one extending to a distance; vista: a perspective on the main axis of an estate.
  • the state of existing in space before the eye: The elevations look all right, but the building’s composition is a failure in perspective.
  • the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship: You have to live here a few years to see local conditions in perspective.

Diverse is a dynamic word clearly noting “differing” and “different.”  A word that we use to note the individual and what he/she offers.  These days, it seems, the word is confused with “diversity.”  Same root; same general meaning (the state of being different); but, so often used these days to reference demographics that it has seemingly become synonymous.  In any group, it does not matter if you are pink or blue, tall or short, it matters what you bring to the table.  Each person’s background adds to the sum of that person, and therefore the differing view they offer.  This is not relative to demographics (or race) but to the breadth and depth of their experiences as a person and how they articulate those experiences when working in a group.

Perspective, to me, clearly falls in the category of “the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc.”  I think every person who serves as a volunteer in this particular group brings a shared experience (as the group is about individuals who have something specific in common), but also their own, individual take on that experience.  Every person, even participating in the same activity, will relay the facts and the impact of that activity on themselves differently.

Looking back on my written comments of the individual that we were discussing, I never noted the individual’s demographics, simply the conversation I had with that person and their overall demeanor.  It never would have occurred to me to discuss a person based on demographics.  To the other person, my comments seemed clearly pointed at that aspect.  Makes one take pause and think about the diverse perspectives we all bring to the table, our individual foci, and what hits home for us individually.  I felt a personal affront at the insinuation of my comment and I would venture to guess that the other person felt similarly about my original comment.  How do we get to a place of not assuming and judging, but thinking the best of others?

double-take on the MARC train

grown man gets on the train holding an old, stained, smelly, gross booster seat (yup, like for a toddler).  no teeny, tiny little person in tow.  picks a seat, sits the booster down, and sits in/on it.  he is not a small man.

oh, and there was also a girl with blue hair.

i love the morning commute.

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