a guy and a bee

a collection of random thoughts and ideas from me, her, and sometimes us

Tag Archives: family

a bit of positive news

about two weeks ago, we had the twins 9 month doctors appointment. our pediatrician is actually an NP and has been with us every step of the way since @littlepund was born. it was to be a normal appointment with all the usual stuff. since we’ve been talking to the infants and toddlers team on BBA’s developmental delays, there was a lot to discuss. as the normal charts and activities occurred, we got into his measurements.

his head circumference has been an issue and at this visit it measures 17.25. last month it was 16.25 at the neurologist. b would refer to it as presnickity (sp?) (bad english is my first language).

annnyyywayyy, this growth moved him from the 1st percentile aka smallest to the 15th based on age so we are seeing some good growth and back in the chart!

b and i shot each other these looks of awe and amazement. and in that instance, we were both choking back tears and not jumping up out of our chairs for a chest bump. b couldn’t talk so my response, “you just made her year.” and she had.

he is still 1st for length and height but tracking beautifully with the curve and just an inch of less shorter than BBB. to quote the pediatrician,  he has petite features.

we have also noticed an increased amount of releasing and flexibility in his hands and extremities. that’s a top priority when we start PT this week. 

in case there was any question, BBB aka the box of rocks is in the 83rd percentile for weight.

so there you have it, some positive news. hard to believe it’s been 9 months. time sees to fly by as much as it has been at a stand still. from those weeks in the hospital to marking each month and week by doctor’s appointments, specialists visits, ER trips, fights to get the proper medicine, surgery, it’s been one giant blur that has been crystal clear.

sometimes it hurts

if you ask me
how i’m doing
i would say, “i’m doing just fine.”
i would lie and say that you’re not on my mind.
(gavin degraw)

some of the most complicated relationships in life originate from ones family.  i am certainly no exception.  and even with the most challenging relationships, i would be hard-pressed to ever say that those people are not on my mind.  the mistakes we have all made.  the really good memories.  and the things that will never be forgiven.  over the past week, however, i have come to find the depths of complicated relationships and the true challenge in seeing the world in black and white.

as noted previously, i am honest and loyal to a fault.  i care much more than i should and think everything should be fair.  setting aside half of the fairness argument today, in my opinion, withholding information and/or asking people you “care about” to purposefully lie to people they care about on your behalf is wrong.  especially the person who you know wants to respect your wishes and be loyal to you and also needs to be completely honest to others.  it is truly not fair.  it hurts.  it leads to tears and devastation and a complete crisis of conscience.  which is more important . . . loyalty to the person who asked you to withhold information or being honest with the person you have been asked to lie to?

i made a purposeful choice a handful of years ago that i was not going to take sides in an argument that was tearing people apart.  now i feel like i am back in the middle and needing to make a choice.  i do not like it.  i am really sad.  and i really love my husband for the ice cream and shoulder and reassurance that at the end of the day there is no way i am going to be alone.  maybe if the world did not need to be so clear – black and white – and did not have to be fair all the time to me, this would be easier.

sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead.  (adele)

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